Note: Having resisted (upon supervisor request) the usual impulse to write at length about recent artworks created for this project, what follows is simply a personal aide-memoire to where my thinking was at the time of making, should any future need arise to explain them.
Lateralus
The specific spelling and purpose of this piece is best described in the words of others: the alternative metal band Tool and the song and album of that name, described in detail here, from which a few relevant quotes may suffice:
"The album title is something of a dual reference, nodding to both the thigh muscle vastus lateralis and the concept of "lateral thinking..." [...]
"[Lateralis] itself is actually a muscle, and although the title does have something to do with the muscle, it's more about lateral thinking and how the only way to really evolve as an artist — or as a human, I think — is to start trying to think outside of the lines and push your boundaries," Keenan told Aggro Active in May 2001. "Kind of take yourself where you haven't been and put yourself in different shoes; all of those clichés..."
The concept grew out of the sideways photographic shot, reflecting the idea of erotic charge inherent in the area of waist -> thigh which holds the most erogenous interest, by defining defining ambiguity (by not explicitly revealing the genitalia, but denoting - in outline - the curve of the backside and thigh), and also literally displaying the 'lateralis' muscle, part of the quadriceps group. The eroticism of ambiguity and hiddenness was therefore the point of exploration here (as echoed in the frisson of the old trope of certain men being more interested in a woman whose dress being blown around on a windy day than in a fully-exposed 'page 3' model) - whilst leaving the genital area as a question mark. This questioning/ambiguous zone is itself left in a space of ambiguity, being both present in the actual scene, but not visible in the resulting recording, due to the nature of the angle, the pose, and the direction of the camera. The 'tease' is therefore on the part of the camera as much as the performer/model, as a rotation of ninety degrees of either would reveal the 'hiddenness' to the viewer. This idea of having more information present than is chosen to be shown has begun to feed into sketchy plans for a possible live work - exploring, for example, the concept of a recorded performance interacting with a live, physical one, in which a 'full exposure' may be made on the recording, but which is covered up (censored) by the hand, say, of the performer interacting with that recording - in which precise temporal and spatial placement of the live performer combine to obscure what would otherwise be a more explicit 'revelation' to the audience. In a case such as this, synchronization and choreography would be required to 'keep them guessing'. No doubt there are theories of spatial/temporal placement in performance which can articulate this better, but at this stage it as much a case of 'putting out feelers' as much as anything.
In terms of feminine eroticism, this idea was given to me in a conversation with a trans friend some years ago, where she described the waist->thigh section of the body as capable of displaying the most charged imagery, with its attendant accessories of suspender/garter straps, stocking tops, G-string, etc.
Hardwired
The short film 'Hardwired' is already video-documented online with regards to the 30 years of my ongoing interest in Cyberpunk and sci-fi, and the movie itself features its own art-history narrative and explanation in the dialogue. What remains to be added here, then, is really the deeper notions of integration/disintegration, expressed through the figures of the twins who are similar in so many ways, yet so apart in others: both in terms of personality, outlook, career, and location. Despite this they remain joined via the 'fragments of each other', whether physical - like Em's Godzilla postcard and Motorhead LP, which reflect Jay's interest in these pop-culture things - their DNA - and their shared memories (Jay digging up 'Grandpa's onion patch' in an early disclosure of his long-term archaeological interests). The concepts of duality and integration, again with reference to ancient philosophical and mystical systems (yin/yang, Gnostic and alchemical works), are themes I've developed over nearly 20 years of writing narrative fiction and creating artworks in various forms. Can true unity ever be reached, or is it an eternally untouchable ideal? Jay's line that "we were the same person, once..." hints at the idea of 'splitting off' that which can never again be re-integrated physically - as the twins have grown up to become two separate entities, and perhaps the only way to rediscover what was lost is through the psychological, subconscious realm, in Jungian terms, or via Joseph Campbell's 'hero journey'.
Throw in a third, ambiguous spectator in the form of the Medusa sculpture herself - one who passively watches, records, surveys - in tune with current (and futuristic) surveillance culture - and we have a distinct loop of gazes which Em describes to Jay in their last communication, and which ultimately is shared between artist and creation in the final sequence, wherein one is literally looking through the eye/s of the other and the surveyor becomes the surveyed and vice versa, with the artist becoming an extension of the artwork. This idea probably has its origins in my studies of performance artist Stelarc and his use of cyborg and technology/human interfaces, and can be inferred as the Medusa sculpture appropriating the human form for its own ends - functioning limbs and organs which have now extended beyond the limitations of the static, constructed figure, being a complete reverse of Stelarc or Haraway's cyborg embodiments - the 'meat' becoming secondary to, and controlled by, the 'machine', whereby Medusa's gaze is extended beyond the limit of what she was originally equipped with (or at least as far as the 'hardwired' cable can run).
Endura
The title firstly refers to the concept of endurance - both on the part of the performer (a 15-minute, non-stop improvisational dance/striptease work*) and on the part of the viewer (how long they choose to engage with the work). The work is a rough concept for what may, in some form, end up as a public performance further down the line, perhaps with reference to the interactive recorded/live acts sketched above for 'Lateralus'. The title derives from the form of ritualistic purification practiced by the medieval Cathar sect, often used to precede death (though often misconstrued as a 'hunger strike' or suicide ritual).
The enactment of ritual, and accompanying ecstatic forms, are augmented by the looped Sufi 'trance' music, with an occasional abandonment suggestive of the Maenads and ancient ritual frenzy. This ritualistic element is repeated in one of my reference points, Roland Barthes' 1960s essay on striptease.
The underlying theme is again one of ambiguity: How far can the pretence of a NB person 'masquerading' as femme be taken, without actual revelation? If I was a cisgender female, the final reveal would be complete - but as I'm biologically not, it isn't - but only if the viewer reads me as a male-bodied performer, hence the ambiguity (or lack thereof) is as much a construct in the mind of the viewer, as it is a deliberate and knowing ploy on my part.
*The concept of a one-take, non-stop 'endurance-based' and improvised performance, was first explored in my MFAAH work of a year ago, the 'Medusa Chronicles'.
